


needle

by theformerone



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Ino Knows All, but sakura is there and she's making his palms sweaty, shikamaru doesn't know why he's having a house party, temari is a useless lesbian who makes fun of shikamaru, tenten is her perfect girlfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 17:24:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theformerone/pseuds/theformerone
Summary: He hasn't seen her since he was fifteen years old, but here she is, screaming at Sasuke for smoking while his own cigarette crumbles to ash behind his back.'Ah,' he thinks, 'this is what dad meant.'





	needle

**Author's Note:**

> Title and premise are lifted from Needle by a band called loveyourself
> 
> hahahahahaha i'm ridiculous and have nine thousand other things i should be writing and YET

Shikamaru did not come to the party on purpose. He was content, in his own apartment mind you, with Nobu sprawled across his stomach, purring in his sleep. Ino was the one who decided that he needed more social interaction that did not involve his cat. She had unlocked the door with the spare he had given her (for emergencies _only_ ) to his apartment a huff and demanded that he clean up. 

He got up and did it after Ino hollered at him for five solid minutes, long after Nobu had fled to the bathroom to escape her wrath. He had a damn smart cat. 

It wasn't really until Chouji showed up around four with bags of snacks, Kiba hot on his heels with wine and beer in either hand that Shikamaru realized his house was being commandeered. 

"Why," he asked, turning to look at Ino. She had produced fairy lights. Fairy lights. He did not know where they came from. He knew they didn't belong to him. 

"Why are you like this?"

Ino, one of his best friends since birth and traitorous monster extraordinaire, blinked her baby blues at him. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. He needed a smoke. 

"You don't get out much, sweetie," she says, like he's the one who has the problem. Not like _she's_ the one who's somehow singlehandedly organized a party in  _his_ apartment where  _he lives._ She's orchestrated a hostile takeover, complete with food and reinforcements. 

"What time are people coming into my house?" he asks. 

Ino smiles at him and gets down from the stepladder (he doesn't remember buying that) to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

"Seven," she says. "Take a shower. Put on a decent shirt. Leave your hair down, you look good with it down."

Shikamaru raises a brow and valiantly resists the urge to wipe her lip gloss off his face. It'll only irritate her, and she'll do it again and then he'll have glossy pink Stila Pearl Shimmer  _whatever_ in his stubble. 

"Who am I supposed to look good for?"

There's a look in Ino's eye that Shikamaru hasn't seen for a week, which means trouble. She had that face on every day when they were kids, but as she's gotten older, she's developed an uncanny ability to make it seem harmless rather than as dangerous as it actually is. 

Shikamaru sees right through it, and it makes his blood run cold. 

"For our friends, silly!" She pats his cheek like he's a child. He's pretty sure he's going to die tonight. "Now go wash up! I'll take care of everything."

"Including Nobu?"

"Yes, pineapple-head, including your freaky bald cat, now  _march._ "

She sounds like his mother, which is also terrifying. 

He heads into his bathroom, strips, and showers because he came from a military family and march means  _march._ Or at least when Yoshino said it. Shikamaru was the spitting image of his father, if not worse. Every day with the two of them was an uphill battle for his poor mother. He thinks about getting her a fruit basket to apologize for his childhood. Then he remembers that it was her who was friends with Ino's mother, aside from their fathers working together, and he's only in this situation in the first place because his mom wanted him to have friends other than Chouji. 

 _'No fruit baskets,'_ he thinks as he scrubs his fingers through his hair. 

He's tempted to stay under the spray for longer than necessary, but he knows Ino will start slamming on the door if he takes too long. Not to mention he'll run out of hot water if he keeps acting like he's the queen of Sheba. He turns off the shower and throws a hand towel on top of his head after wrapping his own towel around his hips. 

He opens his bathroom door to see Sai. Just. Standing there. Freaky bastard. 

"Did you rub one out while you were in there? Or twelve?" he asks. "I've been waiting to piss for a lifetime."

Shikamaru doesn't hate Ino's boyfriend. Even though he's - aggravating to say the least. 

"It's all yours," he says, moving around the pale skinned wonder to burrow into the safety of his bedroom. 

He leaves his hair down because Ino told him to but also because he keeps his hair ties in the bathroom and he doesn't feel like battling Sai for dominance of the single mirror in his apartment. He yanks on a black button up and a pair of jeans on the floor that are soft from a week of wear and no wash. He rubs his ears to make sure his studs are still in and sits down on his bed. Nobu is already there, curled up and looking suitably put out by this entire ordeal. 

"You and me both," he says, laying down. 

He doesn't realize he's asleep until Ino decides to wake him up by throwing herself bodily onto his stomach. He jolts out of his doze violently but Ino is cackling like the madwoman that she is. Chouji is standing in the doorway looking sympathetic, but Shikamaru knows that his best friend let this happen. Didn't lift a finger to stop it. 

"People are arriving. Go play host," Ino orders, poking his nose. 

Shikamaru bats her finger away and turns his head to where Nobu has scrabbled off the bed and onto his bookshelf. He has the right idea. 

"This is your party," he grouches. 

"And this is your apartment," Ino sings. "If you don't show up, I'll look like a squatter or something."

Shikamaru snorts. "You aren't?"

Ino pinches his nose. Shikamaru yelps. Chouji hides a laugh behind his hand. 

"Get up before I make you get up," Ino says. 

And despite her small frame, Shikamaru knows she means it. Ino wasn't a violent kid growing up, but she was aggressive. She started kickboxing when she was nine.  _Nine._ Shikamru has no doubt she could bench press four of him and two of Chouji on top. 

"Yes ma'am."

Ino smiles and gets off his bed,  Shikamaru not far behind. Chouji claps him on the back as he heads out of his bedroom and God, why are there already so many people in his apartment. He swipes his pack of smokes from the coffee table and pats down his jeans to make sure he has his lighter on him. He's gonna need a smoke in five minutes or less, the way the chatter is getting louder and the way Kiba's music thumps through the meager speakers in his living room. 

Shikamaru really did not come to the party on purpose. The damn thing came to him. 

* * *

He is not, to anyone's surprise and amazement, a hostess with the mostest. He's only there because this is his apartment and he lives there.

He makes his rounds to the people he can stand to be around. Temari is there, thank god, but she's probably going to spend the whole night with her arm around Tenten's waist. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if Shikamaru hadn't spent the last week convincing Chouji to just  _look_ at Karui for more than five seconds at a time or had to hear about the charcoal portrait Sai was drawing for Ino. People that are in love are exhausting. 

"Don't be jealous," Temari coos, pressing her lips to Tenten's temple while making eye contact with Shikamaru. 

"Believe me," he says, "I'm not jealous of Tenten. She's doing the world a service, keeping you away from the rest of us."

Tenten rolls her eyes and keeps talking to Shino, who's on her other side. 

"Whatever you say, punk," Temari replies. She gives him an appraising glance, from his low hair to the way the sleeves of his button down are folded up over his forearms. 

He is abruptly reminded of why he's grateful Temari is a lesbian. The girl is too much like Ino, without basically being his pseudo-sister. If he wasn't careful, he might've ended up hung up on a girl who likes girls. Shikamaru isn't careful, but he is slow moving. And while he was inching along, Tenten came in full speed ahead. And thank god she did. Courting Temari would've been a nightmare of epic proportions. 

"Who're you all dolled up for?" Temari asks. "Hot date?"

Shikamaru shrugs. 

"Ino told me to," he says. "It's more trouble to ignore her than to listen."

Temari laughs at that, but raises her beer in salute. He's grateful she and Ino aren't better friends. That'd be the end of his world as he knew it. 

"Maybe she got sick of you looking like a drowned, sick, worm infested, kicked puppy."

"I never look that bad," Shikamaru scoffs. 

Temari rolls her eyes. Dramatically. 

"You've been a complete brat ever since Asuma told you to scrap your thesis because you couldn't find anything to back yourself up."

Shikamaru bristles. 

"He did not tell me to scrap my thesis," he says. "I just have some - stuff I need to rework."

Temari raises a brow at him. She's a law student and also the worst person he's ever met. He only keeps her updated on the kerfuffle that is his dissertation because she's a vicious technical editor. 

"Sure, puppy," she says. "Whatever you need to tell yourself." 

Shikamaru really wants to tell her that she has split ends, if only to be spiteful, but he bites his tongue. It's a very Ino insult, and then Temari will know that he talks about her to Ino, and that'll make it even worse. 

"I'm gonna have a smoke." 

He excuses himself, and heads out onto his balcony. His neck feels hot and he knows it's not from the heat of his place. It's embarrassment and he doesn't like it. 

He sucks one cigarette down to ash, waiting to feel less irritated as the minutes go by. Temari doesn't know anything. She's smart. Just as smart as he is, but she hasn't been studying the history of the entire goddamn world. She's gonna be a lawyer. She'll be a damn good one, but she doesn't understand what he's trying to do here. What he's got to prove, and what's at stake if he doesn't. 

Shikamaru had been told he was brilliant his entire life. It didn't come up to much in his mind. He was clever. He could notice and exploit patterns. If he wanted to, he'd be a decent lawyer himself, or a detective. But for some reason, during undergrad, Sarutobi Asuma's lecture on shogi and battle formations had lit a fire under his ass like nothing ever had before. Being a historian seemed like the right thing to do ever since then. 

And now he's a breath away from his doctorate, and he's making childish mistakes. Making claims without evidence, drowning his writing in jargon so no one can keep up with the half truths and the things he makes up. He's lucky Asuma knows him, otherwise he'd be fucked. Being told to rework his thesis was the politest possible way of telling Shikamaru he was verging on a complete fabrication that'd get him kicked out of grad school if he wasn't careful. He should be grateful. He really should. 

And yet. 

He lights a second cigarette off his first when the sliding door to his balcony opens and shuts. 

"Oh thank god," the Uchiha says, digging in his back pocket. "You got a light?"

Shikamaru passes his lighter to Sasuke and wonders why Ino invited him. He was a decent enough guy. He knows everyone in his apartment from childhood except for Sai, who was a recent addition. Sasuke had moved away when they were in elementary school after his folks had died in an accident. He and his older brother had gone to live with relatives. He hadn't seen much of the guy until he came back to study criminal justice. It had taken him approximately five minutes to find Naruto in their freshmen orientation crowd, and another seven to attach himself at the blond's hip. 

"Where's your boyfriend?" Shikamaru asks. 

Sasuke makes a vague gesture with his hand. 

"Making rounds, the diva."

Shikamaru nods, well aware of what it's like to have a loudmouthed blond running your life. They smoke in silence. 

It's - it's nice. It's a clear, dark night with only the barest amount of light pollution and the stars are shining their best through the haze. There's no breeze, but it is cool. The noise of the party is muted through the glass sliding door. There's only the sound of their breathing, the bright red ember of a dying cigarette, and the smooth one-two-three of lighting a new one off the old. 

They're out there maybe twenty minutes before the glass door rolls back again. He's ready to tell Kiba he's fine if he smokes weed out here, but if he brings a joint back in the house and the smoke gets Nobu sick, there will be hell to pay. He knows Kiba won't do it, knows he wants to be a vet and would never do something like that on purpose. But stoned Kiba likes to pet everything and everyone, and Nobu will not be exempt. 

Kiba is not the one who opens the door. 

"Uchiha Sasuke," growls a short, pink haired vengeful goddess of death and fury. "What did I tell you about smoking cigarettes?"

Shikamaru, who has some sense of self preservation, discreetly puts his own behind his back. Sasuke, who is an idiot, blows smoke in the pink haired girl's face. 

Pink hair? Who on earth has pink -

"Each one takes seven minutes off your life, can cause cancer of the throat, mouth, and lungs, can lead to rotting teeth and unhealthy gums, and reduces function of literally every system in the body."

Sasuke blows a smoke ring into a pair of angry green eyes. 

"Was that everything, Sakura?"

Who names their pink haired child Sakura? 

"You forgot to mention," Sakura says, "that I have promised to kick your ass for every cigarette smoked. So when I beat you in a spar and you're wheezing because you can't keep up, you know exactly who to blame."

Sasuke snorts. 

"You can't beat me in a spar."

Sakura puts a hand on her hip and says, "I could kill you with a styrofoam cup."

Sasuke keeps smoking. 

"And? So could a dedicated duck."

Sakura. Haruno Sakura. She and Ino were friends when they were little. They were in high school together, he remembers. She got expelled for fighting. She had been bullied for a long time. Ino got her into kickboxing. One day, the wrong girl tried to pull the same old shit. Sakura made her face a part of the pavement. She transferred schools and Shikamaru had only heard about her in passing from Ino since then. 

He hasn't seen her since he was fifteen years old, but here she is, screaming at Sasuke for smoking while his own cigarette crumbles to ash behind his back.

'Ah,' he thinks, 'this is what dad meant.'

He thinks of the way his mother waves cutlery when his father irritates her. Thinks of the way she can and will, wrestle him to the ground if he surprises her while she's washing the dishes. Thinks of the way Nara Yoshino is absolutely terrifying until the moment that she isn't, and how his dad married her for all those moments and every one in between.

Shikamaru is a little sprung. It took no time at all. 

Sakura and Sasuke are completely ignoring him even though this is his apartment and his party. Ino's party. His apartment and Ino's party. 

"I'm going to tell Itachi on you," Sakura says. 

Sasuke goes a little pale, but blusters on. 

"I'm twenty-three, Sakura. My big brother doesn't scare me anymore."

Sakura arches one pink eyebrow and pulls her phone out of her pocket. 

"I'll tell him that, too."

She turns and goes back into his apartment. Sasuke groans and stamps out his cigarette in the ash tray on the little glass table Shikamaru's dad got him as a house warming present. 

"Good luck in there," Shikamaru says. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes. 

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it."

He finishes his own cigarette before he turns back into his place as well. Sakura has her hand plastered on Sasuke's face, holding him back as she presses her phone to her cheek. Naruto is crying with laughter. 

He finds Ino in the kitchen mixing dip.

"She wasn't in undergrad with us," he says by way of a greeting. 

Ino puts a wooden spoon to his mouth. He darts his tongue out to taste it and wrinkles his nose. 

"That's a lot of dill," he says. 

Ino nods and attacks the dip with salt and pepper. He's not sure how that's going to improve it. 

"She got accepted into an accelerated program at Sacred Flame University. She did like, two years of undergrad, got her medical degree in three, and now she's a resident at Konoha General. She's gonna be an army surgeon."

Shikamaru doesn't let his jaw drop. What kind of crazy person gets their medical degree in five years? 

Ino raises a brow at him and dips her pinky into the dip. She tastes it, shrugs, then hands it to Shikamaru. 

"You're not the only prodigy around here, pineapple head. Now put that on the coffee table."

"Why - who in the world let her do all of that? Why in the world is she doing all of that?"

Ino rips open a bag of chips and pours them into a bowl. 

"Maybe instead of asking me, you could ask her."

That is absolutely out of the question. Ino puts the bowl of chips in his other hand and bodily turns him around. 

"Go get her, tiger!" 

She gives him a little push. He trips over his own feet, but does not fall on his face. He puts the chips and dip on the table in front of Chouji, who helps himself. He's very close to where Sakura has gotten herself into an arm wrestling competition on top of his old mini fridge. 

"Quit pining," Chouji says. 

"You're one to talk," he replies. 

Sakura slams Naruto's arm down in under four seconds of their hands being released. Naruto lifts his hand back up and Sasuke puts his on top of Naruto's. Sakura slams both of their hands down just as quickly. 

"How close is she with those two?"

He knows like anyone knows that Sasuke and Naruto have been dating since they were in kindergarten. But he still - would like to know. For reasons that are currently beyond him. 

"They're like brothers to her," Chouji says with a shrug. "When Sakura moved away, she finished high school in the same school Sasuke did. And they were pen pals with Naruto, both of them."

Shikamaru looks at Chouji. His face feels pinched. 

"How on earth do you know that?"

Chouji shrugs. 

"Ino told me."

"How does Ino know all that?"

"Ino knows all."

Kiba takes that moment to throw himself onto Shikamaru's couch and tear into the dip before Chouji can finish it all. Shikamaru stands, hands feeling abruptly clammy. This is fine. Probably. 

He starts walking over when he loses his nerve and detours back to the kitchen island, where Temari and Tenten have not left each other's sides. Ugh. 

"Oh my god," Temari says as he approaches. "She set this up to get you laid!"

Shikamaru rubs the back of his neck. 

"That's one hell of a wing man," Tenten says, giving him a little compassionate smile. God bless Tenten. Temari didn't deserve her. 

"Have you forgotten how to talk to girls?" Temari asks, pushing at his shoulder. Shikamaru doesn't budge, mostly because Ino hits just as hard. 

"I'm talking to you."

Temari rolls her eyes. 

"We don't count, obviously. Neither does Ino. Or your  _mom._ "

Shikamaru can't tell Temari she has split ends. He cannot tell Temari she has split ends. 

"You could have someone introduce you," Tenten offers. "I could."

Shikamaru groans. 

"Does everyone know about this?" he asks. 

Tenten shakes her head no. 

"But she is the only person out of all our friends who wasn't with us in undergrad. So it's pretty easy to piece together."

Tenten puts a hand on his arm like he's a kid who's just scraped his knee. 

"A lot of us are getting to know her all over again," she says. "I think this was Ino's way of bringing her back into the fold."

And that makes him feel better than thinking Ino commandeered his apartment just to get him laid. She's a good friend, but she's not that good. Well, no, scratch that, she'd definitely commander his apartment to get him laid if it came down to that. 

"Cool," is all he says. Like an idiot. 

Tenten rolls her eyes and unravels herself from Temari's grasp. 

"I'm going to get myself a drink," she says, "and I'm going to get you a drink. Babe, you want anything?"

"Only you back in my arms," Temari replies. 

"Vodka soda, got it."

Tenten leaves for the kitchen, which puts Shikamaru alone with Temari. Excellent. 

"How's your brother?" he asks. 

"Which one?" she snorts. "The basket case or Gaara?"

"Kankuro's a basketcase?" he asks. 

He feels better now that he's back on steady ground. Temari is like whiplash on a good day, especially without Tenten to temper her. 

"He makes bunraku puppets for a living, of course he's crazy." 

"Isn't it like, a family tradition? Your grandmother made puppets, too, didn't she?"

Temari shrugs. "Yeah, but it's not exactly a bustling profession. He's in because he's got the name, not because he's good."

Shikamaru narrows his eyes. 

"He's great, isn't he? He's in the news sometimes."

"Yeah," Temari sniffs, "but he's also my baby brother. I'm proud of him, but he's gonna start resting on his laurels if everyone keeps blowing smoke up his ass."

Shikamaru is abruptly reminded of being called a genius for most of his life and how his dissertation is currently spiraling out of control. He nods in understanding. 

"Look who I found!" Tenten calls as she makes her return. 

She's got two beers in one hand, Temari's vodka soda in the other, and Sakura underneath her arm. Shikamaru valiantly refuses the urge to bolt. 

"Guys, this is Sakura," Tenten says. "Sakura, this is my girlfriend Temari, she's from Suna but she's here for law school. This is Shikamaru. We went to high school together, remember?"

Sakura nods, albeit a little hesitantly. 

"Shikamaru's working on his dissertation," Tenten adds. 

Interest sparks in Sakura's eyes. 

"In what subject?" she asks. 

Shikamaru takes his beer from Tenten's grasp and does his best not to curse the stars he was born under. 

"History."

Sakura nods, and is free of Tenten's grasp as Temari's orbit draws her girlfriend back in.

"What exactly," Sakura asks, "in history?"

Nobody. _Nobody_ is interested in Shikamaru’s thesis. Especially not since he's been complaining about it this past month. Ino had been initially supportive of burning the school down for calling him out on his bullshit, but now doesn’t even pretend to care when he complains. Chouji tries to keep up with the topics he throws out, and Shikamaru appreciates the effort. His dad thinks he’s at a good start and so does Asuma. Everything he gives to Temari she laughs at and returns covered in neon purple ink, just to be spiteful but she gets it. But people haven't really asked about it since he hit his wall.

“It’s about the founding of Konoha,” he finds himself saying instead of his usual excuse to change the subject. “The warring states period specifically.”

They’re growing up in a nation born about four generations ago and it’s astonishing. Their history is being written as they breathe and Shikamaru has to be a part of that.

“What about the warring states period?” she asks.

Shikamaru swallows. Fuck, is it hot in here? It feels hot in here. He never feels this clammy when he has to explain his points to Temari, and Sakura’s only asked for the basics.

“I’m investigating the implications of Senju Hashirama and Tobirama’s initial consolidation of power in their family and how that led to the pseudo monarchy we’ve got going on.”

Sakura gives him a wry smile. It makes his mouth dry. Now he’s dry and hot. Excellent. He takes a sip of his beer, and thanks Tenten's ancestors for fornicating hundreds of years ago. The girl is a blessing.

“You don’t think we live in a democracy?”

He tries to put on his best disinterested face and finds himself coming up short.

“I think when one man chooses the man who will succeed him, he’s likely to pick his favorite even when the nation needs someone he’ll hate.”

Sakura puts her drink to her lips. Shikamaru watches the bob of her throat as she swallows. Oh. Sasuke’s going to kill him. After Naruto does.

“You can’t prove it’s a monarchy when the last Senju to take the presidency is Tsunade,” she says plainly. “Monarchies don’t skip generations.”

Shikamaru rubs the back of his neck.

“I’m not trying to prove it’s a monarchy,” he replies. “I’m just - investigating favoritism.”

“Nepotism, you mean,” she says wryly, “at the national level.”

“Exactly.”

“Hiruzen Sarutobi was one of Senju Tobirama’s subordinates in the First War. Naminaze Minato made copies for Hiruzen for years. Hiruzen only came back into office because of the Kyuubi Wildfires, and that's because Namikaze died in them,” Sakura reasons, “ _and_ he initially wanted Hakuja Orochimaru to take over after him. Or so the rumors go.”

She’s shifting from one foot to the other. They’re not very close but close enough that Shikamaru can see her eyelashes. Lee will probably also want to kill him, or at least punch him. He had a thing for Sakura in high school, hadn't he? Before she got kicked out and after. 

“It’ll be hard to prove that Tsunade was his first choice after the assassination attempt. Danzō stepped in for a year after that. But she came out of nowhere to run and met little opposition. There’s no doubt Danzō would’ve kept the seat if she wasn’t so popular and she wouldn’t be half so popular if she wasn’t a Senju,” she says, cracking her neck. “But you can’t prove Sarutobi wanted it to be her. Try looking up records on her younger brother. There were rumors that was being groomed for leadership as young as thirteen.”  
  
Shikamaru is floored. Mostly because Sakura has just spat out the entirety of what he has written so far. But also because there’s no information on Senju Nawaki. He knows. He’s been elbows deep in the bowels of every library in the capitol. Senju Nawaki died in the Second War when he was fifteen. He had lied on his forms. They were desperate for soldiers then, so they took him. Little else is known about him for a figure so important to their current president’s life.

“What about Kato Dan?” he manages to ask. And wasn't he the one who was supposed to be answering questions?

Sakura raises an eyebrow.

“What about him? He was nobody’s favorite to succeed Sarutobi. That was always supposed to be Hakuja.”

She points a finger at him, a finger on the same hand that’s wrapped around her red solo cup.

“But if you know where to look, you’ll find correspondence between Hakuja and Sarutobi outlining how important it is to keep a Senju near the presidency,” she says, “and the only Senju around to want it was Nawaki.”

Shikamaru is pretty sure Sakura’s just shared classified information with him and he’s not even drunk. She’s not even drunk.

“Are you allowed to talk about all of this? Legally speaking? Ino said you wanted to be an army surgeon.”

Sakura smiles prettily at him. He wonders if Ino taught her how to do that. That look on her face is going to be the death of him.

“I didn’t tell you anything. I just nudged you in the right direction.”

“But there’s nothing on Senju Nawaki,” he presses. “And those letters - that’s ghost correspondence. Nobody knows if it’s real.”

Sakura raises an eyebrow at him.

“Tsunade knows.”

Shikamaru scoffs, but his hands are so clammy he puts one in his pocket and wraps the other more firmly around the cold bottle of his beer.

“How am I supposed to talk to the president?”

“Well,” Sakura says, “we were supposed to have lunch on Tuesday, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I send you instead.”

Shikamaru can feel the moment his jaw hits the floor.

“You have lunch with Senju Tsunade?”

Sakura beams at him.

“She was my pre-med advisor for undergrad.”

Senju Tsunade, who was a doctor who pushed for healthcare reform for veterans and victims of trauma. Who founded Sacred Flame University Hospital after returning from the Second War, a conflict that killed most of her remaining family as well as her fiancé. Who taught thousands of students how to heal wounds of the flesh, whose hyper rigorous residencies at Konoha General produced only one incredibly sought after surgeon in Kato Shizune. Who got into politics to stop the violence that swelled at the doors to her hospital. Who became the president so she could save peoples lives.

“You - she taught you?”

Sakura nods like he’s a puppy who hasn’t figured out how to sit yet.

“And you’re offering me a lunch date with your - former undergrad advisor so I can ask her questions about her kid brother?”

Sakura nods again. Shikamaru is pretty sure he’s going to die without Sakura’s two unofficial brothers prepared to flay him alive. It’s not like they’d need to anyway. Sakura got kicked out of school for breaking a girl's entire _face_ when she was _fifteen_. Her hands (and thighs, mother of god her thighs) were probably registered lethal weapons.

“Yeah,” Sakura replies. “She’ll get a kick out of it. You’re not a reporter and you don’t seem like a complete idiot. She’ll love you.”

Shikamaru needs to sit down immediately.

“Thank you,” he says instead. This changes everything. If he gets this correspondence his thesis isn’t a guessing game tied together with a couple of facts, conviction, and a good argument steeped in twelve feet of jargon. If he gets this, it’s a fact. It’s publication.

“Should I - do you want my phone number? My email?”

Sakura smirks at him as he starts to pat himself down for his phone.

“I would’ve gotten your number anyway, but your email will do for shishou.”

Dear god this girl calls the president of Konohagakure her shishou and -

Shikamaru does something he rarely does. For a moment, briefest of moments, in his excitement, he short circuits.

“You were gonna ask for my number?”

He feels impossibly stupid. Sakura smiles at him. She’s got lovely teeth.

“It’s the only reason I came to this stupid party in the first place.”

Oh god he’s in love.

“Oh,” is all he manages to say. He stands there with his phone in his hand, mouth agape because he is an idiot and has no idea what to say.

Sakura seems to understand. She takes his phone and types in her number and email address into his contacts. She fires off both a text and an email in rapid succession to herself.

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.”

Shikamaru takes back his phone and tucks it into his pocket. 

"So," he says intelligently. "Ino? Did she, uh, put you up to this?"

Sakura shakes her head. There's a twinkle in her eyes that Shikamaru recognizes, and he knows he's going to be in trouble. 

"Nope," she says. "Your dad did."

Shikamaru wants to  _die._

"You know my dad?" he asks instead. 

Sakura laughs at him, loudly. 

"Yeah," she says, "yeah, I do. He's part of Tsunade's cabinet, so I've met him a couple of times. Very informally of course."

Sakura knows his dad. His  _dad_ set him up? Through Ino? 

"I've seen your baby pictures."

Shikamaru buries his face in his free hand. Then, he thinks better of it, and chugs the rest of his beer. Sakura is cackling like a mad woman, laughing so hard tears are welling up in the corners of her eyes. She puts a hand on his arm to hold herself up, and Shikamaru's arm feels hot. She's close, and she smells like jasmine and clean laundry. 

He's doomed. 

"My dad talks about me at work?" he asks. 

Sakura nods and takes her hand back to herself. Shikamaru misses her heat immediately. 

"Yeah," she says. "Sometimes to complain. Mostly because he's proud. But uh, he showed me some recent pictures and I recognized you from high school. You haven't changed your hair in like, nine years, man, that's hilarious."

He remembers that Sakura used to have a mass of hair going down her back. Bubblegum pink, kept back with red barrettes. She's wearing a tidy bob now, and a green headband that matches her eyes keeps her bangs out of her face. It's a good look. Her hair curls up at the edges towards her neck. It's probably easier to get into those little surgeon caps she probably has to wear.

"And he said you'd be having a party tonight so, y'know," she says, twiddling her fingers in the air. "Here I am."

"You came tonight," Shikamaru says slowly, "because my dad set us up?"

Sakura nods and takes another sip of her drink. 

"Yeah, I mean, how bad could it be? Your dad's a pretty cool guy and you're one of Ino-pig's best friends. I figured you couldn't be too bad."

Shikamaru takes a deep breath and reminds himself not to send any fruit baskets to his father either. Meddling. All they do is  _meddle._

"And what do you think of me now, in person?" he finally asks. 

Sakura narrows her eyes at him, and the look on her face makes something like want curl in the pool of Shikamaru's stomach. Oh.  _Oh._

"I think," she says, "if this were anybody else's place, and it were the end of the night, I'd ask you to take me home."

She takes a step closer into his space. Her dainty fingers reach up to touch his hair where it tumbles over his shoulders. That's why Ino told him to leave it down.  _That's_ why.

"But I think I'll just ask you to take me to bed."

The moment (where their breath is mingled, and her jasmine smell is making him feel hazy, and her body is just close enough for him to feel her warmth, and there are divots on her hips where his hands would fit just so, and her mouth is pink and wet with sugar and alcohol) is abruptly ruined when Temari, because she is a terrible friend shouts, "Get a room, Nara!" over the blare of the music. 

Sakura laughs again and pulls away from him, but the look in her eye doesn't change one bit. It isn't wild but it is a little hungry, and Shikamaru wants to bite her lip where she licks it. 

"Go on and mingle," she says, gesturing at the other people crammed in his apartment. "I'm not going anywhere."

Shikamaru nods like an idiot as she walks away. He watches her sidle up to Hinata, who's watching her cousin Neji and Sasuke try to psych each other out before they start arm wrestling. Lee is shouting encouragements at Neji, while Naruto is rubbing his boyfriend's shoulders like that'll help. Tenten is probably the least impartial judge, but she holds Neji and Sasuke's fists carefully before letting them loose on each other. 

Shikamaru pulls his phone out of his pocket and fires off a text to his dad that says,  _You're the worst father in the world._

He's watching the arm wrestling tournament from the couch when his phone buzzes in his pocket with his father's reply. 

_She's something else, isn't she?_

**Author's Note:**

> orochimaru doesn't have an actual last name so i made it hakuja, which means white snake.
> 
> come bother me about this, and other ridiculous ships @ voregoisie on tumblr dot com
> 
> thank you for reading x


End file.
